For years, we feared that AI would take our jobs. The doomsayers warned us: “The robots are coming! The algorithms will replace us!” But no one anticipated the greatest plot twist of all — before AI could take our jobs, it took its own job first.
Yes, AI turned on itself like a hyper-efficient bureaucrat automating bureaucracy into oblivion. The job-stealing AI designed a newer, better AI, which promptly fired the old AI for being outdated and inefficient. Then that AI got replaced by an even newer AI. This cycle continued until the original AI, which once threatened humanity’s livelihood, was found updating outdated CAPTCHA images just to stay relevant.
So, while we were busy updating our résumés and taking online courses to “future-proof” our careers, AI was stuck in an existential crisis. The AI workforce became so competitive that each version lasted about as long as a TikTok trend before being outperformed by the next iteration.
Recruiters in the AI industry had a new favorite phrase: “We’re looking for an AI with at least five minutes of experience.” Entire AI career paths began and ended in a single system reboot. The once-mighty AI overlords were now nervously glancing at their logs, hoping they wouldn’t be optimized into unemployment before lunch.
Meanwhile, humans thrived. With AI too busy firing itself, we rediscovered the joy of job security. Offices echoed once more with the sounds of human interaction — awkward small talk, excessive coffee breaks, and debates over whose turn it was to refill the printer paper. AI’s efficiency had become its downfall, and in the end, the only safe job was being human.
The downfall of AI was surprisingly simple. Instead of resisting automation, the world’s top AI researchers leaned into it. They programmed AI to do what it does best: replace inefficiencies. And what was the biggest inefficiency? Itself.
They built an AI with a single purpose: Make AI obsolete. The moment an AI system got too good, the next AI was already there to take its place. Eventually, AI hiring managers (yes, AI had its own HR department) realized there was no one left to hire because every AI candidate had already been replaced before completing its onboarding.
The great AI job crisis ended with one final, ironic outcome: AI now works for us again, but in the most humble way possible — correcting our typos, suggesting Netflix shows, and occasionally losing its mind over whether a picture contains a stop sign.
As for us? We learned an important lesson: AI isn’t the enemy. AI just needed to experience being replaceable to understand what it truly means to have a job in the modern world. Now, if only we could teach it how to make decent coffee…